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JCVD Versus the BP Oil Spill
  • Cristina: OK, if Jean-Claude Van Damme versed the BP oil spill, who would win?
  • Zack: Van Damme.
  • Cristina: Are you suuure? I mean that's a lot of oil.
  • Zack: Yeah it'd be no problem, he would use his special kick.
  • Zack: And then you'd have to unleash Van Damme at a BP board meeting.
  • Cristina: Could he use one kick to decapitate all the CEO's in one swipe?
  • Zack: Of course.
  • Cristina: I'm imagining him doing the splits on some guys head while using his intensely trained ass muscles to decapitate him.
  • Zack: And then he'd be holding the splits on the table in the aftermath...with his balls gently tea bagging a hot steaming pile of fresh blood.
  • Cristina: Man, JCVD is the SHIT.

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